Roos Brekelmans

0419451

Accurate English

7 April 2005

1043 words

 

Compulsive Prince Charming Disorder: Neo-Traditionalism in Sex and the City

 

According to the Collins COBUILD Dictionary the emancipated woman is free from traditional social restraints. She is independent, makes her own decisions and does not rely on anyone else but herself. She can live her life by herself and does not need a husband to make her life complete. At least, these are the characteristics of the modern and fully emancipated woman. It is said that perfect illustrations to these modern values of female life are the recent novels and series belonging to the chick lit genre, such as Sex and the City. Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City’s heroine, is supposed to embody the main aspects of this renewed life-style for the modern independent woman. Although her love life seems to be emancipated, it is at heart very traditional. Only outward appearances that are bound by time and place have changed. Firstly, Carrie is very open-minded about her sex life, but all the more she wants to find a someone special. Although she also has many more opportunities in her life than women in earlier days had, she still decides to choose love over everything else. Furthermore, her drive to find a partner is love, not rational reasons like necessity or obligation. Carrie’s search for love is essentially highly traditional.

Carrie’s sex life may appear very modern and emancipated, she still yearns for traditional values. As a consequence of emancipation, a woman like Carrie is more open about her love life and it is common for her to have more partners in her life. Simplified, Carrie is allowed to experience enjoyment while looking for her true love. But just because she is more sexually active, does not preordain that she stops looking for something more special. Despite the fact that she can be satisfied by more meaningless relationships, she persists in finding a someone to live her life with. She sees her one night stands as lesser alternatives to fill up here life until a real lover comes along. When Samantha and Miranda are discussing how good it would be if women just have sex without any real relationship, both Charlotte and Carrie respond very traditional, Charlotte says, “What are you saying? Are you saying you are just going to give up on love? Because, that’s sick!” Carrie even adds, “Oh no, believe me, if the right guy comes along, you two right here, woosh, this whole thing will go right out the window!” (“Sex and the City”) The element of a more open sexual attitude is a change from former traditions. From the perspective of these elderly traditions, this new open-minded position can make it look as if the search for love itself has changed. Nevenka Sudar describes Sex and the City as “an American junk series in which women are portrayed as promiscuous braindeads whose only goal in life is to have sex with anybody, anywhere, anyhow” (par.1). She also recognizes the fact that “[the] promotional material about and sporadic hints in the series itself have been trying to persuade us how this is a series about successful, emancipated, independent business women, the fact is that judging from their own words, dialogue level and actions, their intelligence can compete only with the IQ of a man's bottom in tight jeans which is the only focus of interest of these ‘heroines’ anyway”(par.1). Another way to look at the series is from an international and cultural point of view: “Trans Television broadcasts an American series, Sex and the City, which is well-known for its overt sexual themes and language. The translator re-wrote the text of the drama, guided by her understanding of national standards. Interestingly enough, this radical drama has so far escaped the wrath of Muslim groups” (Koike, par.4). This illustrates how much everything that happens, even in Sex and the City, can be adapted to specific cultural and traditional habits. When translating a series as Sex and the City, the core of the matter remains the same, but the relevant outward appearances are changed. Exactly like Carrie’s life, she engages in modern sexual behaviour, but still wants the traditional love and marriage.

Although Carrie has many opportunities, she irrationally chooses love over anything else. Women of today, like Carrie, have more possibilities and different choices. This is exactly what Carrie’s life consists of. She has a job of her own, regular short-term relationships and her own apartment. Also she finds great joy in spending time with her friends. She can be defined as emancipated and happy. Only all these things are not enough. Carrie feels that there is something important missing from her life, a suitable man. During a phone conversation, Mr. Big says, “That is why I will never get married again.” To which Carrie’s voice-over responds, “I had to focus on breathing and hung up the phone. Could I date a man who would never get married?” (“The Turtle and the Hare”) This response demonstrates how traditional Carrie still is in her relationships. As Hymowitz says in the City Journal: “Miranda Hobbs, Sex and the City’s redhead, has abandoned hooking up and a Manhattan co-op for a husband and a Brooklyn fixer-upper; even nympho Samantha has found a meaningful relationship. Yessiree, family values are hot!” (par.2) This also shows how the former wild and fun-loving women in the end always seem to choose for the traditional family values. It is even less emancipated for a woman like Carrie, who has it all, to feel incomplete living life on her own. She should be grateful and satisfied with all the things she has that are rational and stable factors in her life, in comparison to love which is uncertain. Still she chooses the unknown abyss of love over all the other wonderful things she has in her life:

Carrie: I’m going, to Paris.

Miranda: What about your job?

Carrie: I quit.

Miranda: What? […] What are you going to do over there, without your job? Eat croissants?

Carrie: Why are you so unsupportive?

Miranda: I’m sorry, but I don’t understand why you have to move away and give up your life. (“Splat!”)

Although Carrie can choose almost anything she wants to do, she still chooses the mere possibility of traditional love over all her other better possibilities.

Carrie does not need a man in the old-traditional practical way, but she longs for him motivated by indefinable love. Traditions are old-fashioned customs, passed on from generation to generation, of how people used to live their lives. In the traditional days it was simply the thing to do for a woman to get married around a certain age. She would then move out of her paternal home and live with her husband, who would provide for her. Nowadays cultures and habits have changed and therefore the motives for marriage. The marital motives that used to be based on pure practical reasons and traditions, have now evolved into a difficult search for ‘true love’ and personal happiness. It appears that women like Carrie make their search even more difficult, not only because of their motives, but also due to their strict ideas of a perfect man. As soon as any good man that comes along does not live up to her list, he will be rejected. In her relationship with Ray, which she is enjoying greatly, Carrie feels something is lacking and she ends it. As in a the following scene, where Carrie cries out, “Stop! Can’t we just sit and talk? You know, just talk.” Her voice-over than comments, “I realised Ray wasn’t spontaneous, unpredictable and thrilling. […] What kind of a relationship could I have with a guy I couldn’t even talk to? I’d have to end it.” (“What’s Sex Got To Do With It?”) Carrie’s more modern search for love is mainly determined by higher demands, because love is a different goal than old-fashioned security. Even when Carrie is not inadequate without a husband for practical reasons, she still needs him. The change of motives does not change the traditional meaning of marriage, it even enlarges it because of the importance of love itself. Carrie does not need a man to support her in any way, yet she desires him still from the traditional motive of love.

It cannot be said that the modern woman like Carrie in the chick lit genre is not traditional in her search for love, simply because these traditions have changed. The idea of finding a partner and love, is still very traditional and only its outside is adapted by present times. Carrie’s sex life complies with modern standards, despite this she still longs for the traditional man. Carrie’s life is also rich of opportunities and choices, though she chooses love over any of these possibilities. Likewise, Carrie’s motives for love are the more modern ones of her own love and happiness, in comparison to the former rational practical reasons. In a modern context this woman’s search is still immensely traditional at heart.

 

Works Cited

Editors et Al. Collins COBUILD English Dictionary for Advanced Learners. 3rd Ed. Glasgow.      HarperCollins Publishers, 2001.

Hymowitz, Kay. “It’s Morning After in America”. City Journal. Spring 2004. 20 March 2005           <http://www.city-journal.org/html/14_2_its_morning.html>.

Koike, Makato. Globalizing Media and Local Society in Indonesia. 13–14 September 2002,        Leiden. 22 March 2005 <www.iias.nl/iiasn/30/IIASNL30_47_Koike.pdf>.

“Sex and the City”. Sex and the City. Susan Seidelman. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Catrall,   Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis. HBO. 1998.

“Splat!” Sex and the City. Julian Farino. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Catrall, Cynthia Nixon,   Kristin Davis.HBO. 2004.

“The Turtle and the Hare”. Sex and the City. Michael Fields. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim        Catrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis. HBO. 1998.

“What’s Sex Got To Do With It?”. Sex and the City. Allen Coulter. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim         Catrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis.HBO. 2002.